(frons callidus piscis piscis)

The Brown Dolphin or Le Dauphin is one of the most elusive and least commonly observed or understood Species of Faeces. Yet who amongst us can fail to feel a degree of affection and empathy with this much loved aquatic friend.

Despite his elusive nature, the Brown Dolphin can also be a mischievous rascal and will occasionally taunt the would-be observer (as some have found to their chagrin) by splashing water high in the air as he swiftly plunges beneath the surface and out of sight, only the lucky few will catch a fleeting glimpse of his swishing tail before he disappears into the dark recesses beyond our realm.

Sadly we only have a record of their physical appearance due to a few specimens who have become accidentally entangled in ‘nets’ which have been carelessly discarded and not taken by the outgoing tide. Upon observation we can note a superbly proportioned species, perfectly attuned to its environment, he is surprisingly rotund yet streamlined and evidently evolved for speed, he has a characteristically rounded head and a heavy, dense body, which tapers purposefully toward the rear. Colouration is generally but not always dark and it is not uncommon to witness significant variances of shading from head to tail. Although being among one of the lower yielding species, the Brown Dolphin is still capable of attaining considerable proportions when fully mature.

Who’s that laughing from behind the U Bend as you sit disappointed with wet nether regions?

You guessed!