Hovis DrednoughtWait for Dump Here

(crustum loricatus navis)

The Hovis Dreadnought shares many characteristics with a class of Royal Navy battleship, namely the mighty Dreadnought which dominated the high seas during the early part of the 20th century.

The Hovis Dreadnought is relatively easy to identify; being wide across the beam, the launch ceremony may on occasion present a challenge and can be a protracted event. Upon taking to the water she will temporarily submerge but will soon right herself and settle afloat, ideally assuming a diagonal attitude across the berth where her attributes can be properly observed. Lacking the displacement of many other types the Hovis Dreadnought nevertheless possesses an imposing form and when viewed from above it will be abundantly clear why she is so named, note her clean, unbroken lines and the way she tapers gracefully both fore and aft. Close examination of the stern will reveal a crisp ‘break-off’ with little or no evidence of ‘axial fracture’ due to a high degree of structural integrity. A marbled texture and slightly pale colouration will be uniform along the entire length and look for some light freckling along the flanks.

Key to correct identification is the fact that the Hovis Dreadnought always occupies the berth completely alone and launches clean.

You will come to understand why she has earned the nickname ‘The Unsinkable’ when the time comes to commit her to the deep, be warned though, she won’t go down without a fierce fight! In the tradition of our great Royal Navy she’ll fight on against all the odds and her guns will still be blazing as she finally slips beneath the waves.